2021 Edition
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In case you're wondering, no, none of these characters were at any car shows
or events where I was paid to be their event photographer. Disrespecting
a client would be highly unprofessional so I just don't go there. These
images were all taken at public events where I was just a spectator just
like anyone else from the public.
So..... I enjoy going to car shows. Well, sort of. I like looking
at the old, classic cars and taking pictures of them. And especially the
1950's vintage classics that I used to boost when I needed transportation
to school. But, dealing with Car Show Idiots is a whole other thing.
So you guys drive your cars to these shows ostensibly to show them off,
right? You like hearing the oooohs and aaahs when people look at them,
right? And you are honored when people, and especially Photographers
take pictures of them, right?
You aren't just there to win a dopey plastic trophy or a colored ribbon
I'm assuming.
So why do you park yourself right in front of your car so that no one
can get a decent picture of it? With the glaring bright sun and the
fact that Car Show organizers park the cars one on top of another,
just how do you expect people to take decent pictures of "your baby"
when you are practically sitting the the trunk of your car?!?!?!?
Also, give some thought to where you park! Either in full sunlight or in
full shade. There's just so much that I can fix in Lightroom.
And at some of these shows, perhaps most of them, it's the Owners who
decide how close to the next car they want to park. You aren't at
Safeway! I practically got run over trying to take a picture of a car
when someone wanted to back into a spot right next to the car I was
shooting. If I don't have at least 4-6 feet between me and your car I
can't get a decent picture of it!
Don't be a moron! Use the two brain cells God gave you and put some
thought into where you want to park and how close you want to be to other
entries (assuming that you have any say in the matter).
Then there's these two clods..... he was practically sitting on the trunk.
My companion got a much better picture of this jagoff sitting in his Chrysler..
head back, mouth open, snoring. Definitely the best picture of the day...
This cranky old bag who's spent waaaaay too much time sitting in the sun
was practically inside the trunk of this old Bonneville. You can't see it
but she was holding this HUGE umbrella that she kept placing between the
car and my field of view. It happened so often that I have to assume it was
intentional.
Another U of O idiot so no surprises there that she is a self-indulgent,
narcissistic, socially oblivious, Obama loving, ignorant commie from Eugene.
Now I totally get it... I hate people too but if she doesn't want people
looking at her husband's car, maybe she should just stay home and annoy her
cat.
Now here's another idiot working waaaay too hard to make like he doesn't
notice me trying to take a picture of his old Ford. God forbid he should
move his fat ass out of the way and maybe close the hood since no one is
all that intersted in looking at the greasy flathead six in this heap.
So here's an example of some dead guys planting themselves so close to
their cars that taking pictures of them is impossible. And asking Mr.
deaf and feeble to move would be an exercise in futility.
Look.... no one is going to screw with your car. And most of you owners
are even more sociopathic than I am. You don't want to talk to people
and you don't want to answer questions about your car so head over to the
concession stand and have a beer for cow's sake...
So here's a picture of a dead guy texting his last remaining living
friend. And Mrs Dead Guy watching him trying to figure out how to use
his phone. I finally decided to take their picture after they had been
in the same spot for over 15 minutes apparently unable to work that
electronic gizmo. Clueless doesn't even begin to describe these two.
And this "Car Show Idiots" picture is a twofer. This 1956 Mercury
Montclair is at almost every show in town, year after year. Yet it's
been VERY difficult to get a decent picture of it. Why?
Hey, jagoff..... everyone knows what the inside of a trunk looks like.
And no one cares! So close the trunk already! It's the classic lines
of this old Merc that I want to get pictures of. Not your spare tire!
What an idiot! And, unless you have a monster hemi under the hood, close
the hood too! No one, and I mean NO ONE is interested in seeing your shiny
chrome air cleaner!
Now here's an attractive sight...... these two sitting two inches
from the bumper of their for sale Cougar. And especially the ever lovely
Mrs. Chankle..... diary queen legs, tasteful tattoo and scarfing down a
sub sandwich to hold her over until lunchtime. The shower shoes make an
appealing fashion statement.
You can't really tell from this picture but these two are practically
in the trunk of their Dodge eating really healthy donuts. I had plenty
of time to carefully compose this image while Mr and Mrs Oblivious scarfed
down their chow. Just as I was pressing the shutter, Mrs HealthFood turned
and mumbled something like, "Gee, maybe we should move away from the car a
little". You think?!?!?!.
Bring your rig to a car show and then plant your butts where no one can
get close enough to look at it or take pictures. Makes sense to me....
And it's not just car shows where these idiots flock. This picture was
taken at the Scappoose Wings and Wheels antique airplane and car show in
August, 2019. Now anyone can see that this setting is a Photographer's
dream. A nice, antique airrplane and a voluptuous spokesmodel babe sitting
on her crappy lawn chair modeling with a lovely smile...... nice touch
having a few more pieces of crappy lawn furniture strewn about getting
in the way of any possible view of this plane. You have to wonder why
these dipsticks even participate in events like these....
It was a tough competition for the King of the Car Show Idiots at
this year's Chinook Winds Car Show. But this dickweed made it over the
top with his pile of crap stuffed all over the back of his Thunderbird.
Good work, Jagoff!
The Mopar Summit is is not one of my favorite car shows and these pictures
illustrate why. Owners sitting inches away from the vehicles blocking
any attempts photographers might make to capture an image or two.
Trunks open, displaying a dirty, flat, spare tire and greasy jack.
Hoods open showing an unimpressive, dirty, rusty, slant six motor.
Photographers come to these shows to photograph the classic lines of
these vintage vehicles..... not to get snapshots of fat cows eating
sandwiches or scratching their asses.
Tips for the clueless:
Many owners have the hoods (and often the trunks) of their cars open. Like
anyone is going to be impressed looking at their greasy, chrome-free slant
six motor. And trust me folks.... I know what a spare tire looks like so
how about buttoning up these heaps so that people can see what they came
to photograph: the classic lines and unique designs of these magnificant
old cars. These days, you can't tell one car model from the next....
Also, while I realize you are competing for trophys, if you could move
your cards, signs, lawn chairs and other geardrift out of camera view,
that would be great.
Of course we always have to deal with oblivious dead guys who mill around
like zombies, oblivious to those around them not to mention that car shows
are usually held in Summer with glaring sunlight causing harsh shadows and
bouncing off all that chrome.
If you guys could be at least slightly aware that you're not the only
people on the Planet, that would be really great.
I am always super-appreciative when some owner asks if he can move
something out of the way for me so that I can get a better shot....
although this happens all too rarely.
I really like the annual Kyrons car show and the funds raised go to a
very worth cause. But man.... not exactly a photographer's dream when
it comes to getting access to these amazing vintage cars. These jokers
are unfortunately fairly typical of what I find here every year. Cars
parked very close to each other and owners and hangers on camped out
tailgating in the truck. Coolers and various other crap strewn around.
Not many of these old Desotos left...... there's an old Mercury that
shows up at this and most every other local car show in town every year.
I have yet to get a decent picture of it because the owner pulls the same
crap that these characters did.... God forbid anyone should move or
something.
I hope some of these fools see this page. I'm just saying what every
other photographer is thinking when they run into situations like this.
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